Alternatives advisors are volunteers who give up their time to be on call to advise and support local women facing an unplanned pregnancy, or coming to terms with a miscarriage, stillbirth or abortion. Advisors are not usually qualified counsellors, although Alternatives are members of BACP (British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy) and work within their guidelines. I spoke to Bethan Lester, a former advisor for Alternatives and a qualified therapist of 18 years standing herself, who now provides professional supervision for the advisors, to learn more about how advisors are recruited and how they are supported.
“Our world fell apart when at 37 weeks our baby boy was stillborn with no known cause. Through the support of the bereavement midwife at Peterborough Hospital we made contact with Alternatives Stamford. Here we met Kate & Helen and started the baby loss journey with them.
In that first moment, all I saw was you, I breathed your tiny life
So overwhelmed to meet you and hold you close
Aching to keep you with me and watch over you
Such a short moment I will hold precious forever
I replay that brief time over and over, wishing I could live it again
Touching your hand and watching your lips
Not knowing that the next kiss I would have would be so cold and still
Saying goodbye I kissed both your eyelids your tiny nose and quiet lips
Your still soft cheek and long slender fingers
Praying you’d open your eyes and look at me again
Wanting to hear a tiny murmur from that perfect mouth
How can such beauty be gone?
Did you ever hear me tell you I loved you?
This poem was written by a woman who was advised by Alternatives.
Alternatives offer a programme for parents who have lost a baby through miscarriage or still birth. It’s free and totally confidential. Read more.
You’re welcome to contact us to find out more.